Glory

"He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high" Hebrews 1:3

This morning, I am overwhelmed by the glory of God. His ways are so perfect. He let's us bask in his glory and be a part of it... i don't know exactly how to put these feelings into words. 

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

2 Corinthians 3:18

A couple of Sundays ago at The Beautiful Mess we were in church singing the song "Your Glory" by All Sons and Daughters. I was so filled with emotion, the tears were flowing and all I could think about was the stories of my friends surrounding me.  I thought of their past struggles that they have shared with me and how they have overcome by wrestling with God and seeking his truth and his ways.  seeking his light and his glory. "the light at the end of the tunnel"

The struggle is so HARD...

i wish you could hear the emotion in my voicing of that word. HARD. 

standing next to one of my closest friends at church, who is a survivor of human trafficking.  i know her story.  the horrendous things that evil has done to her.  she shares her struggles with me, we cry together, we laugh together, we get angry together (sometimes with each other). and i know her beautiful heart.  she stands next to me and i hear her unwavering voice singing, "Glory, glory, Hallelujah, Jesus you are good!"

in the midst of the struggle in that moment I see the healing. He is making everything right again. I see him in His glory and I am so blessed and honored that he allows us to be a part of HIS glory! we get to sing together in his glory after bearing one another's burdens.

are you feeling me? doesn't it overwhelm you.  I'm not good with words, but I hope that you will experience basking in his glory like this.

my brother. my college friends. my youth group friends.  basking in his glory with them is one of the biggest blessings in life. 

To be able to worship the one who listens to our cry and is changing us and making us new.  To know each others struggles and to walk with each other through the fire.  We get to be a part of the restoration, the healing, the hope. and We get to worship in His glory together.

I am so thankful for community. and vulnerability. and for my friends who lift me up and walk with me.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Romans 8:18

"Your Glory" All Sons and Daughters

brokenness.

"Mercy has a cost: Someone must be broken for someone else to be fed." -Jen Hatmaker, Interrupted

in college, i would sit in a coffee shop with my friends and dream up about what the church should be like and how to live it out.  the conversation always went down the social justice road.

now that i spend most of my time volunteering for Hope Ranch, taking care of the sick at my work, and being blessed by the homeless kids at Hosea, i'm in pretty deep and loving living out the social justice aspect that i've always dreamed of.  it's just the heart that the Lord has given me and I LOVE it.  jesus really meets me in those places.

but there is still something wrong.  i was talking to my best friend, Amanda, on the phone the other day (she is the other half of my brain -  no joke).  the Lord has been showing me how prideful I am.

I mean this is about to get really really ugly, friends...

me: "amanda, i just don't understand how pastors can think they are actually living out the bible... i mean, all they focus on are christians and being out of debt and owning a big house and having a bible study and a bbq with the people who have been members for 30 years...  but the heart of God is social justice!"

amanda:  "no, ky. the heart of God is salvation.  it's being broken from sin.  it's grace."


me: silence.  oh my God, i am completely missing the point. she is right.


i really wish I was kidding.  that these thoughts didn't go through my head.

i've also been caring more about what others think than what God thinks.  i've been worried about people judging my salvation because i hang out with this person and go to this pub and i say these words.

me actually questioning the place the the Lord has put me because i am worried about whether or not someone will think i'm a believer...  that people are judging the outcomes of my harvest.  that people see the homeless  guy i just gave money to tripping on 5th street.  that people think that my words and counseling have helped 'her' make the bad decisions she's making.

see where i'm going with this?  why do i care what others are thinking and saying?  because i want to be liked.  i want people to think i'm awesome.  P.R.I.D.E.

but it's not about me.  it's about Him.  and His glory.

this post is getting long, but stick with me for a minute...


i think we are called to brokenness.  i don't ever want to think that i have earned my salvation.  i want to remember that it's by grace i've been saved through faith, not by works... so that no one can boast.  i believe that grace is the only thing i have.  i always want to feel the brokenness.  i want to be humble and at the bottom.  i don't want to be on top or in the spot light.  i realize how much i need him.  and how much of a freaking prideful sinner i am.  i hate it.

i'm reading "Interrupted" by Jen Hatmaker right now, and she's helping me sort through some things...

jesus was broken for our sins.  in the last supper, he broke bread with his disciples saying, this is my body, broken for you.  eat.

his death has given us life.

lastly, i just want to share this verse with you. "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.  so then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." 2 corinthians 4:10-12

and here it is, friends...

Death in me = life in you.

Broken so someone else is fed.

"Feed my lambs."

we're called to brokenness.  it's the cost of mercy.  so that the lambs can be fed and have life.

brokenness is what i long for.

and there is beauty in brokenness.

"Brokenness Aside" All Sons & Daughters

We've been singing this song a lot at Ekklesia and Beautiful Mess.  It is my heart right now.

perspective

the statistic is 300,000 children are sex-trafficked in the united states.  i can guarantee you that it's way more than that.  especially with some of the people that i talk to who have never reported it.  that statistic is incredibly low.  so i just wanted to put this into perspective for you.  

it would take 3 ohio state football stadiums to hold the number of children currently being trafficked in the united states.  read the previous sentence again.  and that is only counting the statistic.  the capacity of the buckeye stadium is 102, 329 people.  wow.

that is 300, 000 children being bought and sold for sex 10-20 times a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  and that doesn't include the one's who got into the life at 13 years old and just turned, 18 years old - legal age. 

guys, we are seriously facing a modern day holocaust.  and most people don't know about it or don't want to know about it.  

do something now.  please, for the love of God.  Do Something.

at every red light you stop at,  pray for the red light district.  educate your friends and family.  give.  pray.  and love your neighbor.

O death where is your sting?

I surprisingly wasn't incredibly homesick yesterday for Easter. We went to Ekklesia for service in the Hult Center. It was a beautiful service! And Pastor Wes preached it, sister. And brother.

 our church rented out the Hult Center (where they usually have orchestras, ballets, plays, etc.) in downtown Eugene.  We just had one service and invited the entire town.  It was incredible.  It opened up with the children singing about 3 songs.  One of my favorite little girls kept saying "Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy"  about every 2 minutes.  it was soo cute and HILARIOUS!  kids were jumping off of the front row bleacher and hitting each other, and the yelling "Jesus Saves".  haha.  It just made me think of us, His children, His bride.  We are still being refined, and yet, He still loves our praise.  know what i mean?  more on that later.

Paul and I started hanging out with these people on sundays, well we hang out with them a lot more than just sundays.  but they moved here from Alabama to be missionaries.  pretty amazing.  We call ourselves the beautiful mess.  our mission is just to love the city of Eugene radically.  particularly the Whiteaker area.  so on sunday, we had an Easter feast for the homeless.  it blessed my heart so much.  and some of my kids from hosea (the homeless shelter that i volunteer at) were there!  and it was so nice to fellowship with them and sing praises to Jesus with them.  if you wanna know more just ask.  here is a short video of what my sunday looked like.  Paul is in the hunter green serving food.  i am in pink and talking the whole time.  i didn't know that my friend Ethan was recording. it's a bit embarrassing, actually.

El Roi

one of my strengths is also one of my greatest weaknesses.  i had the director of a nursing program look me in the eye and say, "you need to be more sympathetic and less empathetic.  empathy will ruin you."  sympathy is understanding the pain of someone while empathy is climbing into the pit with them and experiencing the pain with them. you can see how empathy can be burdensome.  

i am trying to learn how to give my empathy to the Lord to use it not to destroy me, but for His good.  it is so hard for me.

because i met a girl with 3 children - all the result of a rape.  the first two children are products of a rape from her step father and the third is from a rape on the streets.  this girl, the mom, is 20 years old.  and the way she is looking for love is through a lesbian partnership - this is what she thinks real love is.  

and there is another girl whose mom sold her for sex at the age of 4.  and now she has a "boyfriend" or pimp who sells her for sex. and she loves him because he's the only person in the world that will sit with her and pet her hair for hours while she cries - this is what she thinks real love is.

and there was another girl in the homeless shelter the other day who was starving.  yes, here in america.  she hadn't eaten for 2 days because her mom ran out of food stamps. and her pleading eyes look at me as she asked, "are we allowed to get seconds?"  because this is probably the only meal she'll have for 48 hours until we're open again.  

and there is another girl whose mom held her down while her mom's boyfriend raped her and took her virginity. and now the only way she can have sex with her own boyfriend is by taking hard drugs to make her high enough to get through the painful memories - this is what she thinks love is.

and there is no place for this in my head and my heart.  i just can't wrap my mind around it.  i feel heart wrenching, gut punching pain.  and i'm trying to give it to Jesus.  what do you want me to do about it, God?  Why are you showing me these things? How do you want me to fix this?

WTF.

God?

I can say WTF, because the psalms are one big WTF.  Jesus! where are you?  come and heal us.  heal our land. we live in such darkness.  it's overwhelming when i'm in it.  but there is no other way, friends.  because we are called to take our light into the darkness and tell these girls about real LOVE.  real HOPE.  real LIFE.  They need you, friend.  they need you to show them the love of the one who redeemed you and brought you out of the darkness.

"I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.  They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.  Set them apart in the truth; your word is truth.  As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world." John 17:15-18

send us, Father.  Lead us.  help us to take our light into this dark world. Jesus, you are the only hope we have.

(source)

El Roi

the god who sees

and i believe that there is hope for these girls.  i believe that they can have complete healing and be completely restored.  because my God is the god who sees.  he saw them while evil was making them a victim.  he had the power to intervene.  but he did not.  and i believe with everything in me that redemption, healing and complete restoration is possible.  or else El Roi would have intervened.

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go and shine your light, beloved. 

the line

the 'us' and 'them' line is becoming finer and finer to me.  


all i know is that since i've met 'them'.  my heart is so full.  my cup is overflowing.  and we are one.  it's as if i've waited my whole life to know 'them'  and glorify 'HIM'.  together it is WE.  


Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. ecclesiastes 4:12




and we all have healing to do.  all of us.  the good news is that He is in the business of healing our depravity.




this morning i was reading john 8.  a woman was caught in adultery and the religious leaders brought her to Jesus, saying, "the law of moses commanded us to stone such women. what do you say?"




and jesus bent down and wrote in the dirt with his finger.  and he said "let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her".  and they went away one by one.




i just see jesus drawing a line in the dirt. 




and even the religious leaders can't separate themselves from her.  we are one in the same, friends. 

my friend wrote these lyrics.  and, my oh my, they just captured my heart.  i want to share them with you.

"She has long curly hair that exceeds her back, She has Piercing eyes that set ur soul on fire, She has skin so soft to touch its like milk. She has a face like an angel, She stands tall and always holds her ground BUT WHAT U DO NOT SEE IS... She is SCREAMING FROM THE INSIDE OUT, SHE IS DIEING FROM THE UNWANTED HANDS THAT LAY ON HER EVERY NIGHT, SHE CRIES HERSELF TO SLEEP WHILE SHE LAYS IN THE DARKNESS WANTING TO DIE, SHE CLAIMS HELP WILL NEVER COME, SHE CLAIMS THE WORLD WILL REPEATEDLY RAPE HER OVER AND OVER, SHE WALKS AROUND AS IF NOTHING IS HAPPENING, SHE WALKS AROUND AS IF SHE IS OKAY..SHES BEAUTIFUL AND MESMERIZING TO LOOK AT. BUT DO U SEE WHAT I SEE? SHES BROKEN SHES SCREAMS WITH EVERY INCH OF HER BODY? SHE SENDS SIGNALS OF WANTING TO BE HELPED. SHE LOOKS AT YOU IN SUCH A WAY UR HEART BLEEDS FOR HERS..WILL U HELP HER OR WILL YOU RAPE HER OVER AND OVER? "

will you help her?

slavery. still. exists.

even in the land of the free.

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i will make this post short.  there is a great injustice happening right now in our own backyard.  


the facts that we have are just a low estimate that we've concluded.  


27 million slaves in the world today.


1.2 to 1.4 million are Child Sex Slaves.


one quarter of those slaves are our children in the United States - that's 300,000 children... but after researching, there is no way that this number is accurate.  there is way more.  even 1 child being sold for sex is too many.  i encourage you to look it up.


the average age of entering the sex industry is 13 years old.
so even what the world considers of legal age - these women started as a child slave. they are not prostitutes... they are also victims.

here is a video by the A21 campaign with some quick facts

just hit play

and she is right, numbers are desensitizing.  after you meet one victim, your life will be changed forever.  this is real. and it's a problem and it's happening in our own backyard.

it is happening in sleepy Eugene.

pimps are on the prowl, we are a part of the Interstate 5 sex trafficking chain.  i can walk to I-5 from my house.

and it is happening at my home back in ohio.

this is an old video. but has some good resources listed if you want to get involved.

the problem is not getting better.  it is getting worse and worse.  and this weekend is the most profitable day of the year for traffickers - and a day of unfathomable evil for these poor victims.  super bowl sunday.  it's the second busiest trafficking event to the olympics.  start by praying and fasting for these victims on sunday.


we need to save these victims. we need to tell them that they are their creator's masterpiece. that He knew them before they were formed and that he has a purpose for them in life.  and it is not to be used and trafficked.  we need to save them, help them heal and empower them.  


we need to abolish slavery.


we need to increase the punishments for the pimps and the johns (buyers).


and the pimps and the johns need jesus too.

believers - take 20 minutes and watch this video

let's do something now.  let's take our light and shine it in a world of overwhelming darkness and evil.

who is with me?

matthew 26

so paul and i have been going to this church called ekklesia.  ekklesia is just the new testament greek word for 'church'.  the teaching on wednesday was seriously the best sermon that i have heard in a LONG time.  phenomenal!  Please, if you have 55 minutes, listen to this.  you will not regret it. it will refresh your soul.


http://www.ekklesiaeugene.org/videos/preparation-for-the-cross-pt-4-2/

or vimeo

http://vimeo.com/35339654

if your internet is too slow for the video, just roll your mouse over 'teachings' on the ekklesia website, then click 'wednesdays' then click 'Matthew 26:47-68'. click 'download'.  there is a podcast as well that just has sound.

Cihat - the 1 out of 100 chance that you read my blog...  i think that you would love this teaching.  if you listen, please, let's discuss it.  i love to hear your opinion.  keep seeking truth, my friend. we appreciate your friendship so much.  paul and i are in deep prayer for you.  be blessed, brother.




one of pastor wes's main points that touched my heart was about Peter cutting off the soldier's ear.  Peter - a disciple who is so depraved and so human.  he makes rash decisions based on his emotions.  he is always getting in trouble and doing exactly what Jesus said not to do, however, Jesus is so patient with him and so loving.  He teaches Peter (and us) to be slow to anger, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to wrath and abounding in love.  And yet, despite Peter's being that black sheep who does everything wrong, Jesus said, 'Peter, on this rock I will build my church...'  peter is a key component of Christ's bride.  


anyway, peter, being quick to act and quick to anger, cuts off a soldier's ear.  typical peter.  pastor wes makes the point that there should have been 4 people on calvary that day.  that soldier should have been able to report, 'this man, peter, wounded me, he cut off my ear!'  but there was no evidence.  jesus put the soldier's ear back on and healed it.  there was no evidence of peter's sin.  peter would not be the 4th cross hanging on calvary that day.  Jesus, the forgiver of sins.  the one who heals us and makes us blameless.


wow!  


i think about my life.  how gracious my savior is with me.  he is still working on me.  i want to be like him in possessing the fruits of His Spirit. but my humanness and depravity keeps me from that.  i hate to think of the people that i have hurt and the poor example of christ's follower that i have been.  but Jesus is in the business of healing people's hearts and getting rid of our sin.  because of him, there is no evidence against me.  he takes care of even the victims of my sin.  praise him.  it just amazes me.  thank you for continuing to teach me and grow me.  i need more of him and less of me.  

(source)

a. d a n g e r o u s. woman.

Dangerous Women Creed

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Dear God, please make us dangerous women.

May we be women who acknowledge our power to change, and grow,

     and be radically alive for God.

May we be healers of wounds and righters of wrongs.

May we weep with those who weep and speak for those who cannot

    speak for themselves.

May we cherish children, embrace the elderly, and empower the poor.

May we pray deeply and teach wisely.

May we be strong and gentle leaders.

May we sing songs of joy and talk down fear.

May we never hesitate to let passion push us, conviction compel us,

     and righteous anger energize us.

May we strike fear into all that is unjust and evil in the world.

May we dismantle abusive systems and silence lies with truth.

May we shine like stars in a darkened generation.

May we overflow with goodness in the name of God and by the power of Jesus.

And in that name and by that power, may we change the world.

Dear God, please make us dangerous women.

 Amen.

strong & courageous

i have an incredibly sensitive heart.  this can be a blessing at times, but also a curse.  when your comforts are taken away, it's more of a curse.  but right now, i'm where He wants me.  it's not easy.  and today i need to be reminded of his promises.  I don't really know how to be strong & courageous. I don't feel that these characteristics come naturally for me. but where i am weak, He is strong.  please pray that i will trust that and recognize His strength. (But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9)

source

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, of love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

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"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, But take heart! I have over come the world." John 16:33

weird photo, but true

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a really long blog post about jonah, vines and hippie vans.

At church last Sunday, pastor taught from the book of Jonah chapter 4. 

Oh, how the conviction trickled into my heart...

One of my favorite sermons ever taught was by my mentor, Kristi Payne.  She talked about how Jonah is quite a sad story.  The Lord called him to minister to the Ninevites and he fled!  He had such a bad attitude about it and finally when he decided to listen to the Lord, all he said to Nineveh was, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned”.  Sounds like a big change in heart Jonah, NOT!  What a spoiled little brat.  it also reminds me of the people who hand out the gospel tracks - i don't think they've ever actually cared about my thoughts and my heart.  take me to coffee and talk to me about this passion in your life (sorry this is something that i really struggle with - especially because i use to be one of those people).  And from that, the Ninevites repented and mourned because of their sin.  Talk about God being the one to transcend the human heart!  That’s all Jonah said and it was with hate in his heart toward Nineveh.  And an entire city repented of their sins!  God works in mighty ways.

Jonah & The Vine

In chapter 4 Jonah is angry that God is forgiving Nineveh.  God asks Jonah, “do you have a right to be angry?”.  As Jonah was sulking, God grew a vine around him for shade.  Jonah was very happy about the vine because it eased his discomfort from the heat.  Then over night, God sent a worm to eat the vine and Jonah no longer had shade.  Along came a scorching East wind and Jonah grew faint – he was miserable in the heat again.  Jonah threw a fit again, “It would be better for me to die than to live” – come on Jonah, that’s a little bit dramatic.  I mean, even I throw temper tantrums, but not over being hot.  But God said to Jonah, “Do you have any right to be angry about the vine?”

Jonah is gutsy here, “I do”, he said, “I am angry enough to die”.

Now comes the conviction…

“But the Lord said, ‘You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow.  It sprang up overnight and died overnight.  But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well.  Should I not be concerned about that great city?’”

1^st thought– I wonder if the writer of Jonah knew he was going to be post modern.  I mean, ending a book in a question instead of a yes or no answer… so po-mo. 

2^nd thought – Sunday we learned that there are only 2 books in the bible that end in a question – Nahum and Jonah – both are about Nineveh (but that’s irrelevant to this blog post). 

3^rd thought – HOLY  SMOKES!! I am Jonah.

God blessed Jonah with a vine for shade.  He gave him this vine as a gift.  Then he took Jonah’s comfort away.  He took Jonah’s undeserving comfort away… and Jonah was angry as if he deserved that comfort.  It is so easy for me to judge Jonah here.  

Pastor gave the analogy, it’s a HOT summer day and you’re given an AC.  That AC brings you comfort and then the AC is taken away.  You thorw a fit… I am soooo angry I would rather be dead.  That’s quite a stretch.  But how often do we as Americans do this.  I don’t have the nicest car or the best clothes and I don’t own a house… i am so depressed, i want to die.  oh no, where is the Zoloft?!?  (side note: depression is a very serious and very real thing and some people do need medicated - however, it's definitely over diagnosed in our country because we are prideful and spoiled) We don’t deserve those comforts, we are blessed to have those comforts.

So my heart is incredibly convicted about this.  Since the thought of moving to Oregon was laid in my lap.  I have fought it tooth and nail!  Kicking and screaming not wanting to come.  –  Just like Jonah with Nineveh.  Except I didn’t flee from the Lord and get eaten by a whale.  Thank you Jesus for having mercy on my sinful soul.

My comforts were taken away.  My family, my friends, my community, my job, etc.  The blessings in my life, freely given to me, were taken away.  And I lament.  I am still lamenting.  It is really freaking hard.  I am throwing a fit.

And the Lord says to me, 'Kylee! You have been lamenting brokenhearted selfishly consumed concerned about these comforts of yours, though you did not tend them or make them grow – they were a gift to you from me. But Eugene has a population of 140,000  who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many hippie vans as well.  Should I not be concerned about that great city?’

Yes Lord, I am sooooooooo sorry. Sooo sooo sorry.  Please change my heart.  I am lamenting over comforts that I’ve experienced, please change my heart.  Make it like yours.  Show me your way.  Give me a heart for your people.  Help me to be gentle and loving.  Be my comfort.  Be my purpose.  Help me to be okay with this because I am not.

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*Those TV preachers are full of crap.  When you walk with Jesus, you aren't promised earthly riches and that things are always going to be peachy keen.  My comfort clings to Jesus's promise, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Peru

So I am raising support for a mission trip to PERU!  I am so excited about it!  I am doing all kinds of fundraisers with my church here in Eugene.  We are having a huge auction on December 3rd and we're hoping to raise enough support for all of us going.  So let me know if you want to donate anything to the auction!  


It is a 2 week trip to Cusco, Peru with extreme nazarene.  We will be doing a lot on this project.  It is an official Jesus film project, we will be building a chapel, and it's a medical mission trip!  i'm excited about the medical part.  i've never witnessed healthcare in an underprivileged area.


one of the ways we're raising support is by selling pastries at our cafe on sunday mornings.  so i made some pumpkin whoopie pies.  they are a recipe from my mother-in-law.  they are soooo yummy.  and not hard to make.  

yummm.

Recipe

(makes about 3 dozen)

preheat oven to 350

cookie part

-2egg yoke

-2 c. brown sugar

-1 c. oil

-2 c. pumpkin

-1 tsp vanilla

(beat together those 3 ingredients)

then combine dry ingredients in another bowl, then add them to above.

- 1 tsp cloves

-1 tsp cinnamon

-1/2 tsp salt (can leave this out)

-1 tsp baking soda

-1 tsp baking powder

-3 c. flour 

bake at 350 for 10 minutes

allow to cool and put cookies together with icing.

icing part

-3/4 c. butter

-3 c. powdered sugar

-14 oz of marshmallow cream (comes in jars in baking section)

If you'd like to support me on this trip I'd really appreciate it!  I have quite a way to go.  Of course, prayers are always appreciated.

infectious smile.

i saw a homeless man today.  well, i see several homeless people everyday here in Eugene.  but there was something different about this dude.  


he was playing air guitar.


and he was so happy


and his smile was infectious.

this girl with brown hair has one of the most infectious smiles ever.

and he inspired me.  it reminded me of this quote:

"Let no one ever come to you without ever leaving better and happier.  Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."  -Mother Teresa

purpose

i have a very sensitive heart.  and it aches right now.  i am trying to find my place here in Eugene.  my husband is very busy and often times i am at home alone ALL day long (i still don't have a job).  and so my soul searches for purpose.  i want to feel needed. i long to make a difference.


and so tonight this verse came to me. and spoke to the core of my soul.


"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5a (NIV)




before i was born, He. set. ME. apart.


my heart swells and hot tears stream down my face.  he does have a purpose for me.  and i need to choose to trust that promise.  




awake my soul! for you are dearly loved. and intimately known and connected to the one who formed you.

change is hard sometimes.  please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

waterfalls

i missed out on this trip, but these pictures are so gorgeous i had to share them with you so that you will want to come and visit us!  when my in-laws were here, we did a lot of hiking and sight seeing.  on this particular day, i had a job interview (and i got the job - Jehovah Jireh!) so i was not able to come along.  but these waterfalls are close to our house and are breathtaking.

see the rainbow?!

yes, that is real.

'Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’'  John 7:38

west coast

My first trip to the west coast was absolutely gorgeous! I cannot wait to go back.  We went with paul's family.  it was so great!  here are some pictures.  hopefully this will talk you into coming to visit.

we hiked to the heceta head light house

paul thought this tree was really awesome.

and as the fog started to roll in, i got my 1st glimpse of the pacific ocean!

'For I am the LORD your God,
   who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—
   the LORD Almighty is his name.'

Isaiah 51:15

we had the whole light house area to ourselves, but it started to drizzle a little as you can see in the pic above.

glad i wasn't out to sea with all that fog!

the hike back up from the beach... i liked this little walkway.

photo of heceta head lighthouse that i didn't take just so you can know how beautiful it is!

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