serger

i used my serger for the first time in my life all by myself!!  my aunt barbara (my grandma's sister) gave me her serger since she never used it.  i am sooo thankful for it.  anyway, there is a couple at our church who just had a baby boy and named him kylen!  so of course, being that we almost have the same name, i LOVE him.  he looks really good in orange and i had the perfect fabric for something cute for him.

i finally got the guts to make something on my serger.  so i used this pattern to make these cute kimono baby shoes!  what do you think?  don't look too closely or you might see all of the flaws.  but i'm super stoked to give them to him.

they kind of remind me of toms.

well today is my hubsters 26th birthday!!  woot woot!  so we'll be celebrating that today...

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE!

the rocks won't be given a chance

this morning on my front porch i had the most incredible quiet time.  i started reading john and i just couldn't stop.  i have felt so discontent and lost lately.  since i don't know if i'll get in to PA school, i've been trying to figure out what to do with my life.

reapply?
go to PT school?
masters in nutrition?
be a teacher and eventually a professor (preferably anatomy)?

i don't know. i've been trying not to think about it. but it's been consuming my thoughts.

and then this morning.... all i can focus on is jesus.  he is just so creative and brilliant and loving indescribable.  and i just love getting to know him more.

source

and my front yard is beautiful.  the sun is shining through this big old tree.  everything is singing praise to him.  and so i thought of this verse.  and went back and read all of luke 19.  the people were throwing their cloaks down for jesus to ride his colt over on his ride in jerusalem. i remember how special i felt as a bride walking down the carpet they rolled down the aisle in front of me on my wedding day.  it is praiseworthy. it is beautiful.

and so with my life, despite the unknowns of where my career is going, today i am comforted and reassured.  i feel like i'm finally in an okay place.  and nothing else matters but jesus.

and so i will not let the rocks even be given a chance.

1 whole year.

today. 8.8.10, i have been married to my best friend and the love of my life for an entire year...

it has been an AMAZING year.  I just don't know why God has decided to bless me so much.  I never thought that I could love someone like i love p.dizzle  :)  

alright enough of the mushy goooshy stuff....

5 things i've learned after i've been married for 1 year:

1.  my husband still has my name in his phone as 'kylee powers'  (... i'm thinking i need to change it to something like 'most goegeous breath taking woman in the world' just to surprise him the next time i call!  haha)

2.  we still argue over what kitchen place mats are used for... i say decoration, he says to eat!  (so he won't let me get some of those cute round wicker ones because he says he doesn't have anywhere to put his drink!  hahaha.  o man i love him!)

3. it is weird to sing songs in deep and strange voices and break out in random dance moves on a daily basis (at least paul told me that i'm not normal for doing it... hmm, who would have thought?).

4. okay let's be honest, sleeping with your spouse is fun.  especially when they talk in their sleep or when you have a bad dream... someone is right there or the fact that you don't have to say goodbye or someone to just... well... to DUTCH OVEN! (click here if you don't know what a dutch oven is or if you want to read the funniest way i've ever heard it described.)

5.  the marriage relationship is the most honest relationship.  i have hidden nothing from my husband.  it feels so good!  he knows me so well.  i just love to be so comfortable around him and to love him with my whole heart!  it is soo incredibly freeing! beautiful.

God is so good.

burns & rejections

busy busy busy busy busy busy busy

i wish i could take a picture of the above sentence and make it really blurry... you know, like the ones that are taken in the wrong picture mode?

chaos.

in organic chemistry lab this week while i was doing a reflux... something i do at least once a week in that class

it's long and boring and tedious and time consuming. i hate it.

well i burnt my forearm. and it feels like that nuisance stinging pain.  i would compare it to that really high pitch annoying monotone noise that you hear sometimes.  it's just there and it won't go away.

And so i compare this burn to my feelings.  i just got my first letter of rejection for physician assistant school from philadelphia university.  i was praying for closed doors and it was one of my last choices. but still... the feeling of rejection... it's like this stinging, burning, nuisance.  

i am tired.  i try and i try. and i don't sleep. and the list goes on.  this passion that i have to be a physician assistant to help the needy... it drives me.  i know that this tug at my heart is from God.  but i also don't want to make this passion my idol.

and so i am really struggling to trust God.  this letter of rejection makes me anxious about rejection from the other 6 schools that i applied to.  i want to trust God. I really WANT to trust God.  

i still have 6 more shots... maybe i could get into 6 other schools.

but it is HARD.

and all i can hear is him saying. BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. (psalm 46:10)

and so it is hard for me to say, "okay God, if you don't want me to go to physician assistant school, then what?  how will you use me.  please use me."

and so everything is put back into perspective.  continue to pursue my passions. do my best work. but don't be 

overwhelmed

busy

chaotic

anxious

stressed

worried

be calm

be loved

trust

have faith

be still.

your prayers are appreciated. much love.