Glory

"He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high" Hebrews 1:3

This morning, I am overwhelmed by the glory of God. His ways are so perfect. He let's us bask in his glory and be a part of it... i don't know exactly how to put these feelings into words. 

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

2 Corinthians 3:18

A couple of Sundays ago at The Beautiful Mess we were in church singing the song "Your Glory" by All Sons and Daughters. I was so filled with emotion, the tears were flowing and all I could think about was the stories of my friends surrounding me.  I thought of their past struggles that they have shared with me and how they have overcome by wrestling with God and seeking his truth and his ways.  seeking his light and his glory. "the light at the end of the tunnel"

The struggle is so HARD...

i wish you could hear the emotion in my voicing of that word. HARD. 

standing next to one of my closest friends at church, who is a survivor of human trafficking.  i know her story.  the horrendous things that evil has done to her.  she shares her struggles with me, we cry together, we laugh together, we get angry together (sometimes with each other). and i know her beautiful heart.  she stands next to me and i hear her unwavering voice singing, "Glory, glory, Hallelujah, Jesus you are good!"

in the midst of the struggle in that moment I see the healing. He is making everything right again. I see him in His glory and I am so blessed and honored that he allows us to be a part of HIS glory! we get to sing together in his glory after bearing one another's burdens.

are you feeling me? doesn't it overwhelm you.  I'm not good with words, but I hope that you will experience basking in his glory like this.

my brother. my college friends. my youth group friends.  basking in his glory with them is one of the biggest blessings in life. 

To be able to worship the one who listens to our cry and is changing us and making us new.  To know each others struggles and to walk with each other through the fire.  We get to be a part of the restoration, the healing, the hope. and We get to worship in His glory together.

I am so thankful for community. and vulnerability. and for my friends who lift me up and walk with me.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Romans 8:18

"Your Glory" All Sons and Daughters

we made it to the news!

i have so much to update on. but currently i really wanted to share our day yesterday...

7am: up and at 'em

8am: realize Diana has a flat tire

8:02am: walk a mile to go get my car at autzen because paul took it to work that morning.  it was 28 degrees. the coldest i'v ever been in eugene

8:25 running late for our radio show interview on kpnw

8:34: walk into radio show room live LATE and proceed to carry out our show.

story of our lives that crazy things happen to us all the time!

around 10am we get a call that the local news station wants to do a story on us!  so here are some pictures of course.

and here is the story!

http://www.kmtr.com/news/local/story/Eugene-group-working-toward-safe-house-for-sex/dX4RB3BmJkqI58P5va-YSQ.cspx

We're getting a House, ya'll! Praise Jesus.

i need to post more!

i am going to do another post soon.  i promise.  sorry, i've neglected you, blog.  it's a lot harder to blog with an ipad because i can't upload pictures.  so i have to wait until i'm actually using a real computer.  so little time, so much to do...

here is one of my most recent creations.  it is hanging in my bathroom above the toilet. haha. i don't know if it's done yet, i haven't decided.

Psalm 103

Last night, Paul and I were at Ninkasi for 'Pints for a Cause'.  On Mondays, they give 25% to a non-profit.  Last night was for a non-profit called 'Daughters'.  They are survivors of sex-trafficking in Cambodia who are taught to sew and make dresses and purses that are sold in a bridal store in Indianapolis.  They are very talented women.

We were talking to a good friend of ours.  And he reminded me of something that I am so thankful for. Our God is not a god of karma.  I have been praying for his favor on me and my life.  Thinking about how I need to do more good for Him so he will be with us and protect us.  Praise Jesus that is not how he works...  pay attention to verses 6-14.  Sometimes we get upset like, 'Lord I'm seeking you and I don't feel you.  Aren't you supposed to bless me?'  And when it gets down to the nitty gritty... can we honestly do anything to win his love?  No, he loves us no matter what.  And to win his favor is to fear him and love him with all our hearts and souls and minds.

Psalm 103

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
³ who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵ who satisfies you with good
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶ The Lord works righteousness
    and justice for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
    his acts to the people of Israel.
⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹ He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
¹⁴ For he knows our frame;^[a]
    he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
¹⁷ But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children's children,
¹⁸ to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.
¹⁹ The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

²⁰ Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his word,
    obeying the voice of his word!
²¹ Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
    his ministers, who do his will!
²² Bless the Lord, all his works,
    in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

lately

i made my first homemade pie with crust and everything!  strawberry rhubarb.  yummy yum yum.  I made it with my Hope Ranch peeps.  It was awesome.  And the homemade pie crust is sooo WORTH making! :)  the difference is incredible - the flakiness.  the way it browns in the oven.  yum.

also, check out this bike that i found on 5th street by steelhead brewery and cornucopia!  someone made this themselves.  the brilliance that these eugene hippies come up with never ceases to amaze me. this is pretty awesome.

it's a regular bike!  and someone took a skateboard to make a seat for a passenger.  and some handlebars for them to hold on to.  crazy awesome.

brokenness.

"Mercy has a cost: Someone must be broken for someone else to be fed." -Jen Hatmaker, Interrupted

in college, i would sit in a coffee shop with my friends and dream up about what the church should be like and how to live it out.  the conversation always went down the social justice road.

now that i spend most of my time volunteering for Hope Ranch, taking care of the sick at my work, and being blessed by the homeless kids at Hosea, i'm in pretty deep and loving living out the social justice aspect that i've always dreamed of.  it's just the heart that the Lord has given me and I LOVE it.  jesus really meets me in those places.

but there is still something wrong.  i was talking to my best friend, Amanda, on the phone the other day (she is the other half of my brain -  no joke).  the Lord has been showing me how prideful I am.

I mean this is about to get really really ugly, friends...

me: "amanda, i just don't understand how pastors can think they are actually living out the bible... i mean, all they focus on are christians and being out of debt and owning a big house and having a bible study and a bbq with the people who have been members for 30 years...  but the heart of God is social justice!"

amanda:  "no, ky. the heart of God is salvation.  it's being broken from sin.  it's grace."


me: silence.  oh my God, i am completely missing the point. she is right.


i really wish I was kidding.  that these thoughts didn't go through my head.

i've also been caring more about what others think than what God thinks.  i've been worried about people judging my salvation because i hang out with this person and go to this pub and i say these words.

me actually questioning the place the the Lord has put me because i am worried about whether or not someone will think i'm a believer...  that people are judging the outcomes of my harvest.  that people see the homeless  guy i just gave money to tripping on 5th street.  that people think that my words and counseling have helped 'her' make the bad decisions she's making.

see where i'm going with this?  why do i care what others are thinking and saying?  because i want to be liked.  i want people to think i'm awesome.  P.R.I.D.E.

but it's not about me.  it's about Him.  and His glory.

this post is getting long, but stick with me for a minute...


i think we are called to brokenness.  i don't ever want to think that i have earned my salvation.  i want to remember that it's by grace i've been saved through faith, not by works... so that no one can boast.  i believe that grace is the only thing i have.  i always want to feel the brokenness.  i want to be humble and at the bottom.  i don't want to be on top or in the spot light.  i realize how much i need him.  and how much of a freaking prideful sinner i am.  i hate it.

i'm reading "Interrupted" by Jen Hatmaker right now, and she's helping me sort through some things...

jesus was broken for our sins.  in the last supper, he broke bread with his disciples saying, this is my body, broken for you.  eat.

his death has given us life.

lastly, i just want to share this verse with you. "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.  so then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." 2 corinthians 4:10-12

and here it is, friends...

Death in me = life in you.

Broken so someone else is fed.

"Feed my lambs."

we're called to brokenness.  it's the cost of mercy.  so that the lambs can be fed and have life.

brokenness is what i long for.

and there is beauty in brokenness.

"Brokenness Aside" All Sons & Daughters

We've been singing this song a lot at Ekklesia and Beautiful Mess.  It is my heart right now.

been busy

we've had my in-laws here for the last 2 weeks.  it was awesome.  i love them.  i love family.  it was great.

and what has been overtaking my life?  every moment that i'm not working, i am working on pharmacology homework.  who would have thought that it would still be so challenging even after working in a pharmacy for 3 years.

it really hasn't been that glamorous.  this was just the most pleasant day of studying that i'd had in a while!

2 more weeks of class.  i will try and post more!