ipad

yep.  i've been saving up all of my money in my little jewelry box on my dresser since december.  with birthday and christmas money and my target discount, i got the new ipad.  i love it.  i highly recommend them.  especially if you don't have the money to buy a mac laptop.  i take it every where with me.  


and here is my little poodle boy interacting with it.  we put on a dog video on youtube.  haha!  he touches his nose to the ipad and the screen moves all around, etc.  he's so smart :)

hard conversations

the other night, hubby and i were laying on the couch.  and he was holding me and smooching my cheek.  and there was this heaviness on my heart.  it felt like a 90 pound weight just sitting on my chest.  and when i open my mouth to talk about it, it feels like someone with a military boot is just stepping on my throat.  and the hot tears start streaking down my face.  


it hurts to be real.  to be honest.  to gently tell hubby whats on my heart and to be able to allow him to respond. to not only talk to him about the hard stuff, but to let him talk to me about the hard stuff.  we're learning to do this in a way that is not blaming.  but loving.  


it's necessary.  to process things together.  the hard stuff.  it's no fun.  but it's worth it.


it's necessary.  and it's so sweet afterwards.  after i get the hard stuff off of my chest.  because i just LOVE this man that I call my beloved so much.  and i know that he loves me too.  and i wouldn't have it any other way. 


and the conversation ends with me being more in love with him than i ever have been.  and that i feel so loved by him and so at one with him.  and we fall asleep holding hands under the covers.  his fingers touching mine.  and i fall asleep praying.  thank you jesus for this man that you have made me one with.  protect us.  grow our love for each other.  

oh, i did forget to mention one thing.  solomon put it well in the bible:


"as an apple tree among the trees in the forest, so is my beloved among the young men.  with great delight i sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." song of solomon 2:3

and what i mean by that is

Giddy Up

and that's all i have to say about that.

O death where is your sting?

I surprisingly wasn't incredibly homesick yesterday for Easter. We went to Ekklesia for service in the Hult Center. It was a beautiful service! And Pastor Wes preached it, sister. And brother.

 our church rented out the Hult Center (where they usually have orchestras, ballets, plays, etc.) in downtown Eugene.  We just had one service and invited the entire town.  It was incredible.  It opened up with the children singing about 3 songs.  One of my favorite little girls kept saying "Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy"  about every 2 minutes.  it was soo cute and HILARIOUS!  kids were jumping off of the front row bleacher and hitting each other, and the yelling "Jesus Saves".  haha.  It just made me think of us, His children, His bride.  We are still being refined, and yet, He still loves our praise.  know what i mean?  more on that later.

Paul and I started hanging out with these people on sundays, well we hang out with them a lot more than just sundays.  but they moved here from Alabama to be missionaries.  pretty amazing.  We call ourselves the beautiful mess.  our mission is just to love the city of Eugene radically.  particularly the Whiteaker area.  so on sunday, we had an Easter feast for the homeless.  it blessed my heart so much.  and some of my kids from hosea (the homeless shelter that i volunteer at) were there!  and it was so nice to fellowship with them and sing praises to Jesus with them.  if you wanna know more just ask.  here is a short video of what my sunday looked like.  Paul is in the hunter green serving food.  i am in pink and talking the whole time.  i didn't know that my friend Ethan was recording. it's a bit embarrassing, actually.