my cup overflows.

i wish i could take you to coffee and tell you what He has done for me.  it's so hard for me to even put it into words.  but right now in this moment, my heart is so full.  my cup runneth over. 

i don't have a mansion, actually i don't even own a house.

i'm not a millionaire, actually i have loads of college debt.

i'm just your average joe.

i don't have a job.

i'm not using my degree.

i'm hundreds of miles from my closest friends and family.

but let me tell you what he has done for me...

i should first start with the fact that when i was a freshman and sophomore in college, i wanted nothing more than to be single for the rest of my life and be a medical missionary in kazakhstan or somewhere cool.  maybe eventually adopt a child from an orphanage that i would work at, if they'd let me.  me and jesus, that's all i wanted and needed.

he has given me abundantly more than my wants.  i don't even have the words to describe what a blessing my marriage has been in my life.  when paul came into my life, i was healing from my sin.  i didn't want a husband.  i actually tried to talk him out of liking me.  it makes me laugh now at how stressed out i was over it.  it would've been so much easier to just trust what the Lord was doing and not try to fight it. but on the other hand the communication aspect of that healing process has helped me to trust paul and jesus even more.  sorry, i'm rambling here.  this is why i wish we could be talking over coffee... so that i can actually make sense.  

the marriage covenant has spoken so much to my heart about Jesus's love for me. the stories about God and Israel come to life for me.  contrary to the media, i find marriage so incredibly freeing.  paul has made promises to me and i have NO reason not to trust him.  trusting paul by taking this leap of faith into marriage was a scary thing (and still is - hello, we just moved across the nation!), but 2 years and 1 month into marriage, i will tell you that it is soooo worth it.  it makes my eyes well up with tears and my heart swell just thinking about how much more i love him now than when we said 'i do'.

tis so sweet to trust in jesus.  thank you for my husband, lord.  please protect our marriage, for i know the temptations of this world.  hold onto us lord, we cannot do it alone.  come and fill our souls.  help me to love him as you love us.

the first time we saw each other on our wedding day. still makes me tear up.